Maybe I'm a little addicted
Maybe I just Can't get out of this
Maybe it is just too soon to say
I've seen you blow right past my window
You flew away and I was left inside
Without a clue
But If you think that I am too stoned to write
Don't think twice
Free your mind
Don't let me down
We'll find a way to make it go away
I went ahead without direction
A form of semi-self-mutilation
Dragonfly collides with truth
Why can't you see me like I see you
Can't you feel me like I feel you
Can't you be with me tonight
I'll make it go away
(my dragonfly)
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Monday, April 13, 2009
COME TO THINK OF IT
Three days before Easter Sunday. Maundy Thursday, that was. I have been contemplating on this tumultuous journey I have been having since about a year or so ago. It was a roller coaster ride, indeed, as I thought it was. Beautiful one day. So bad the next day. Struggling but fruitful somehow. At the end of the day, the balance is tilting. I realized, it was a battle not worth fighting for anymore. I thought, it must be over. But how and when? Yeah, Easter for the when. I still don't know the manner.
Black Friday. God died on the cross to save us mankind from the destruction of fiery sin. Yeah, a sinner that I am, full of guilt and crashing disobedience from the moral standards set forth by the supramundane being. Hmm, human as I am as I thought but nevertheless enveloped by the seeming fact in mind that there is always a sense of responsibility in everything that I do to anyone. Yeah, now I know how i should end it. It must be done without goodbye. Just plain and simple silence and undetected distancing.
Easter Sunday. The day when everything will start to happen. The promised day. The designated moment of truth. I am not sure if it would hurt that much knowing that i loved too much such I almost lost my self-respect and feeling of self-worth. But, I am determined. Unlike in the past, this time, I will, I must because this was long overdue. I have been too stupid for almost 12 months. Now is the moment. There could be no other time in the future anymore. This is it!
First easter week. Now. I realized, it was just a breeze. Not the same as I thought it would be that difficult. It was just easy. Things have been falling into their right places. "Concerned" people are unwittingly and unintentionally doing their parts to make this situation so easy for me to handle. Why? because no one knows except me that I have started to escape, eject, deviate, stop or distance already. I never expected this to be this smooth and simple. It is good-bye this time. Good bye to my crazy, stupid, thunderous yet rollercoaster ride.
But, I will not forget all those moments -- both the good times and the bad. Because all of them made the whole thing as good as it is now. Adieu to the paramore. friends? hmmm, could be. But I am not hoping anymore. If it comes to that point, why not? Besides, we shared a lot of things together for quite a while. They can not be taken to the side of my memory; they can not be ignored.
The dragonfly will continue to be my nick. But, the reason for my having it has been freed already. Let it fly over to the new horizons. Explore new fields. Try new sites. So long..
-=(dragonfly)=-
04.14.2009
11:05AM
TLC Comlab
Black Friday. God died on the cross to save us mankind from the destruction of fiery sin. Yeah, a sinner that I am, full of guilt and crashing disobedience from the moral standards set forth by the supramundane being. Hmm, human as I am as I thought but nevertheless enveloped by the seeming fact in mind that there is always a sense of responsibility in everything that I do to anyone. Yeah, now I know how i should end it. It must be done without goodbye. Just plain and simple silence and undetected distancing.
Easter Sunday. The day when everything will start to happen. The promised day. The designated moment of truth. I am not sure if it would hurt that much knowing that i loved too much such I almost lost my self-respect and feeling of self-worth. But, I am determined. Unlike in the past, this time, I will, I must because this was long overdue. I have been too stupid for almost 12 months. Now is the moment. There could be no other time in the future anymore. This is it!
First easter week. Now. I realized, it was just a breeze. Not the same as I thought it would be that difficult. It was just easy. Things have been falling into their right places. "Concerned" people are unwittingly and unintentionally doing their parts to make this situation so easy for me to handle. Why? because no one knows except me that I have started to escape, eject, deviate, stop or distance already. I never expected this to be this smooth and simple. It is good-bye this time. Good bye to my crazy, stupid, thunderous yet rollercoaster ride.
But, I will not forget all those moments -- both the good times and the bad. Because all of them made the whole thing as good as it is now. Adieu to the paramore. friends? hmmm, could be. But I am not hoping anymore. If it comes to that point, why not? Besides, we shared a lot of things together for quite a while. They can not be taken to the side of my memory; they can not be ignored.
The dragonfly will continue to be my nick. But, the reason for my having it has been freed already. Let it fly over to the new horizons. Explore new fields. Try new sites. So long..
-=(dragonfly)=-
04.14.2009
11:05AM
TLC Comlab
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