I Call Him -- Janjan

I received a text message from clea at about 9 in the evening telling me that in a couple of minutes she would be calling me here in Toronto from the Philippines. I ran to the side of the phone and waited.. then waited.. then waited.. The phone did not ring. Time passed by until it was lready 10. "An hour has passed already" I thought. I did not know what to do. Should I text her that I have been waiting for an hour already? I had a couple of yes then no but ultimately I texted her. "Been waiting for more than an hour already. Got to go to the basement now to do the laundry." A minute later, my roaming cellphone beeped. I read the message "Baba, Im already here in the delivery room. Maluwas na si Janjan".

Huwaw! I was frozen. The world stopped. I can not figure out what to do, how to react. It was spontaneous. I never thought that the much awaited moment has finally come. It was happening so fast. I couldn't believe it. The ultrasound said he is due on July 22. But hey, my first born son is about to be born. He can't wait anymore. He is finally coming.

I sighed! ALl too suddenly, I became very excited. But I had to silently go through my excitement. Nobody here in Toronto amongst my relatives know that I am an expecting father. Deep in my heart and in my soul, I was absolutely rejoicing. I was totally ecstatic. The moment of truth has finally arrived. And soon, I figured out, a little boy will be calling me "Papa".

I texted my brother "Please update me every after 30 minutes." He replied most simply and thriftily, "Yep"..

But nothing came. Not a single text. 30 minutes passed. Another. Then another. I was restless. I did not know what to do. I texted again, but alas, "message sending failed." Whatduh! I did not have a load anymore. It costs P22 per message sent. Waaaahhh.. What a timing! My patience had to be stretched, I thought to myself.

At past 12, a text came from my brother "Yahoo! Nabuhayan na!"

July 4, 2010 at past 11:45PM, Philippine Time, my first born son -- Juan Ma. Edgardo -- had his first breath at SorDoc Sorsogon.

The feeling was really insurmountable. It was a very different kind of feeling. No words can ever decribe it perfectly. But, the feeling stays there. Stays in the heart and only I can ever know what it is like. And there is just one thing that I can say, it is a feeling only Janjan can ever make me have.

And to janjan, thank you for coming into my life. Papa will never be the same again. I love you so much and I will try to be the best father you can ever have. Henceforth, I never failed to think about you. From now on, I exist because of you.

See you soon.

Mwuah!