CAN TEACHERS AND STUDENTS BE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS?

I have been asking this question since the onset of my teaching career. Should I make friends with students? How can I separate my personal status with that of my professional side? Is it not susceptible to abuse by either party? Is there a need for friendship? Can it be deterred before it even starts or blossoms? Should we teachers tell friendly students to back off at whatever possible subtlest means? A lot more questions are currently in my mind. Some I do not even know the reason why such questions come into my mind.

Teachers are human beings. Teachers are supposed-to-be second parents of the students. Teachers have feelings. Teachers are social beings.

Students, on the other hand, are human beings too. Students are those who supposedly extended their trust to the teachers being hired by the school where they are enrolled. Students have feelings too. Students, just like teachers, are social beings.

Both peoples have backgrounds, biases, inhibitions, ambitions, longings, aspirations, needs, wants, everything. Different or similar as the case may be, they somehow cross paths and agree; at times, they clash and disagree just like any other human being whether relatives, family members, club members, co-employees or whatever group of individuals a person may belong.

But still, between teachers and students, there is the underlying concern on the act of separating personal relationship from professional relationship; from being a mentor to being a friend. How can one clearly establish the boundary so that other questions on biases especially on some specific decision makings will not be jeopardized by this cause?

When a teacher becomes too close to a students, some will notice that. Good if it starts and ends at that. What worsens the relationship is the possibility that others might put malice or especially creative interpretations on it like on the specific issues of favoritism. Is the teacher mature enough to be very objective in his or her dealings with friendly students that the same decision will be arrived at even in the absence of friendship -- the teacher being critically careful to the merits of the factors affecting the situation? Besides, are teachers the only ones who should be concerned about this or should it be also the concern of the students?


One known remedy to this seeming nuances on teacher-student relationship is the call for a "distance". Still, the term distance is very relative. How far should the distance be? Is this condition numeric in meaning? a mere figure of speech? If numeric, how far? one meter? two? What?

When I student tries to open his or her thought to the teacher, how personal should the manner be? Should the teacher refer the student to the guidance counselor? Or should the teacher embrace the chance to know the student more? But how should the teacher handle this? One-on-one? In the presence of another student? In the presence of another teacher? What is right here? What is not? When will these considerations end? What are they in the first place?

Further, when does that point of being a teacher stop to give way to the real person inside that teacher to establish friendship with another fellow who happens to be his or her student? On the other hand, when does that point of being a student stop to give way to the real person inside that student to establish friendship with another fellow who happens to be his or her teacher?

Whew! Is there really a chance for this? Ah, so difficult to think about. Critical issues will continue to haunt the existence of this kind of relationship. As long as no one knows the boundaries and limitations, no one will be able to stop asking why.

The final question now is: "Is being a teacher a curse against or an opportunity to broaden one's network of friends?" I just hope it is the latter.