Nice To Meet You Janjan

I am scheduled to leave Sorsogon for Manila today in time for my Commission on Filipino Overseas - Pre-Departure Orientation Seminar (CFO-PDOS) on Friday, June 11, 2010. It is the last set of activities that I am required to do before I leave the country on June 21, 2010 for Toronto, Canada. My immigrant visa expires on July 28, 2010.

Thus, three weeks prior, I asked my wife to see her obstetrician-gynecologist so she could ask her if she could undergo another ultrasound at least before I leave for Manila. Good thing, Dr. Uy-Dealca acceded to her request.

June 9 came and it is today.

I have to admit that I am mixed emotions on this aspect of todays activities. I am excited because I will be seeing that baby in my wife's womb moving, but I am also somehow scared because of some anticipations of probable defects. Anxiety is the word.

My wife went ahead to the SorDoc as soon as she received a text message from Ninang Tere. At around 10:00 in the morning, I received a text message from Madi Tere telling me to go over to SorDoc in time for the scheduled ultrasound.

I speedily went there. Good thing, Dr. Estuye was not yet there. This gave me the chance to fill-up in advance a Registration of Live Birth form together with my wife. I was happily assisted by, as always, madi Tere.

Soon, we were informed that the Ultrasonographer was already in his clinic. So, we went there.

We were allowed to view the black and white image on the ultrasound monitor. The good doctor said that it is already somehow difficult to get a glimpse of the baby's features because in this stage, the baby is already very active in the mother's womb. I am privy to this because I, for one, especially last night, saw my wife's belly move, protruded, and waved due to the baby's movements inside her tummy. It was an exciting and enjoyable site.

The doctor asked why despite the beautiful, positive report he had with my wife's previous ultrasound, she has still requested for another one. He was told that I, the father, is leaving for Canada and that I want to "meet" -- not just feel through the belly skin of my wife -- my child before he comes to earth probably on July 18, 2010.

So there went the ultrasound. The doctor could not get an immediate good view of the baby because of his active movements. He continued to tinker that equipment until, alas, the baby positioned. The doctor was able to capture the baby's back. I really saw the seemingly x-ray type of image of the baby's spinal. It was a very happy moment as far as I am concerned. Then the doctor captured another move and pointed to me the baby's hands, then the sole of it's feet, the hands. I could not put into words the wonderful feeling I am having at this moment.

He said, "I hope to get an angle which would allow you to see the baby's face." More tinkering on the equipment then that wish was soon granted. It was like the baby faced the scanning device being slid with the help of a gel on her tummy. I clearly saw and identified the forehead, the eyes, the cheeks, the nose, the mouth, the face as a whole. It seemed so clear that I was able to imagine how my baby would look like. I had that feeling that my baby faced me and we saw each other eye-to-eye. It was a moment I would always remember for the rest of my life. I felt something that is heart-warmingly unique and inspiring. Finally, the doctor pointed to that portion on the monitor and said "this is the baby's balls. So he is indeed a boy!"

PS: Janjan, my first born boy, I wrote on the Certificate of Live Birth your name "Juan Ma. Edgardo Dreu Olondriz." As a whole, your name is very spanish just like our ancestors. Juan because it means that you are God's gift to me. Ma. because I believe that true joy can be found best in simplicity, and Edgardo because it bears the names of two people who helped me in so many ways -- Edgardo (your Lolo Boy who happens to treat me as his own son because he has none) and Edgar, your Ninong Paleng, who taught me to face the challenges of life point blank and who I can depend on and trust no matter what the circumstances may be.

Anak, pardon papa if I opted not to name you Manuel. I just thought that it might pressure you somehow when people will start to compare you to me and to lolo. I am hoping that this will be for your own good. But I am calling you Janjan because deep inside me -- though it sounds like jonjon, my name of endearment -- i just feel that no other nicks can be as endearing as this because it's the name I uttered when your mama and I made you on the night of lola's birthday.

Janjan, anak, I am leaving not for my sake but for you and your mama. Your papa would like to give you the best life he can possibly give you. But, I will be back soon so we could start enjoying each other's company. Always remember that I love you since the moment your mama and I made you on October 20, 2009.. hehehe I will be thinking of you every moment that we are apart. I love and will love you more than you can ever know.

Meanwhile, I left to your mama several toys which you can play with while I am away. I also gave instructions to your mama about taking a picture of you every day that I am not with you. I also asked you mama to record, take note, and get a remembrance of your firsts. Anak, this is my way of telling you that I am trying my best to be with you all the way despite the distance. But, one day you will realize, that there are hard decisions that we need to make just like this one for the good -- in the hope of -- everyone. See you soon and may God bless all of us always..